Santa Claus is a legendary hero whose identity is as mysterious as the North Pole. I was recently lucky enough to have a conversation with the bearded bloke. Below is just a glimpse into the wonderful heart and mind of ole Saint Nick, as he answers the most pressing questions for The Chopping Blog.
*Please note that due to his request for privacy and a signed affidavit, I cannot reveal the details of how, where or when we met. I am only legally allowed to reveal this conversation.
Chloe Ditzel: Mr. Claus! Thank you for having me. The Chopping Blog is thrilled to have you and we appreciate your time.
Santa Claus: Absolutely! I’m so excited to be speaking with an official reporter of one the most celebrated blogs in the North Pole. But please, call me Santa. Or Stan. A lot of people call me Stan here.
CD: (blushing) Okay, Stan. The Chopping Blog is, as you know, a food blog for The Chopping Block, which is Chicago’s most popular recreational cooking school. Have you ever thought of taking Mrs. Claus out for a fun date night? Or perhaps going alone and learning something new?
SC: Oh my! I’m surprised you didn’t know, but I actually have taken some classes at the C-Block. I am a huge fan of the Pasta Workshop class. The summer menu was delicious. I still make that lasagna, when I can get the veggies in.
CD: I had no idea. Does Mrs. Claus like to take the classes, too?
SC: Oh no. She does a lot of the meals for the North Pole and our employees. She likes to take breaks from the kitchen on her nights off, understandably.
CD: She sounds like a great gal.
SC: Chloe, you have no idea. She sure does take care of us up here. The old girl sure does know her way around an oven. Her quinoa pilaf and pork sopes are some of my personal favorites.
CD: They sound great. Let’s get down to it, shall we, Stan? The biggest question on everyone’s mind is what do you really want on the night of December 24? I know I grew up leaving milk and cookies for you and carrots for the reindeer, but what does Santa really want?
SC: Great question, Chloe. Honestly, I am incredibly grateful that so many children think of me before they go to bed, and its not even the ones on the Nice list! I love cookies and milk just like any other Claus. I will say horchata is a delicious and unexpected treat. I also love tea sandwiches. Cucumber and butter, egg salad, ham and mustard. They give me that little kick in my step that I sometimes need on Christmas Eve, without filling up my tummy. Now, the reindeer are currently on a diet, per the suggestion of our vet, Dr. Snowplum. I know they love carrots, but I think they would love a nice little treat, as that is a special night. They actually love Naan bread and hummus!
CD: Really?!
SC: Absolutely. Mrs. Claus and I went on a Mediterranean kick one summer. They had one taste and couldn’t get enough.
CD: That’s very interesting, and I’ll be sure to remember that this year. What is your favorite meal?
SC: Chloe, you’re really pushing the envelope with these questions.
CD: Stan, that’s my job.
SC: Of course. To be honest, and this may be a shock to some of your readers, but I love pizza. Bunny Boo (his nickname for Mrs. Claus) makes delicious fresh dough, and we have a pizza stone the elves made years ago. I love it when there’s a nice blend of cheeses and herbs. Simple and classic.
CD: I’m hungry just talking about it, Santa.
SC: Me too. Bunny Boo just made some homemade corndogs- if you’re interested.
CD: Holy cow! I’d love one!
(Brief break for corndogs)
CD: Those were fantastic. I can’t wait to try them at home. Thanks for the recipe.
SC: Absolutely.
CD: What’s your favorite kind of food to order out?
SC: I love Thai and Chinese food, as most people do. Who doesn’t love a fortune cookie?
CD: (laughing) I know I do. One final question for you today: If you had a last meal, what would it be?
SC: Chloe, you sure do know how to put the pressure on an old man. I have thought about this before, actually. Bunny Boo makes a homemade turkey potpie that is absolutely delicious. It makes me feel warm and full, and there are always leftovers. We usually have this with a fresh green salad and crispy French bread. Sometimes it’s those meals that make you appreciate what you have and the wonderful people in your life.
CD: (crying) Santa, you are an absolute pleasure to speak with. I am so honored to have learned about some of your culinary interests, and get to know you better in general.
SC: Chloe, the pleasure was all mine. And might I add that you are the coolest and neatest person I have ever met. You’re probably the best person in the world.
Born and raised in Florida, Chloe Ditzel is a former class assistant at The Chopping Block, and would like to make it clear that she did not go to culinary school. She currently resides in Los Angeles, CA, and is discovering the culinary treasures of the west coast one delicious food truck at a time. Her biggest goal in life is to somehow combine the following three mediums: food, comedy & unicycles. Bon Appetite!