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Last year for the Chopping Blog, I shared a very exciting interview with the legend himself, Santa Claus. It’s a wonderful read, and it was probably the most popular thing the Internet has ever seen.
He and I haven’t been able to speak much this past year, due to our crazy work schedules. To be honest, he’s a bit flighty. However, we’ve managed to stay in touch relatively frequently through letters. For this month’s post, I thought I would share my most recent letter to my favorite pen pal.
I hope this letter finds you well and that you and the lady are maintaining some balance in this crazy and hectic time. Santa, if I could be so blunt, I’m writing today to ask for a few things. I know, I know. I’m sure you get that a lot. Heck, I know you get it a lot. But… there are so many things that I want! Let’s start at the top:
KitchenAid Pro Line Series 7-Qt Bowl Lift Stand Mixer. Besides the fact that Cook’s Illustrated named it “Highly Recommended,” it also has a Y-shaped paddle frame, a large vertical bowl handle, and an engine that my dad might squeal about. Wowzers, Claus.
Le Creuset Signature Round Dutch Oven in “Ocean.” You can choose the size, my smart friend. But I promise the reason I ruin most of my dishes is that I don’t have a Le Creuset Dutch Oven. Help me make a good meal. HELP ME!
Emile Henry Pizza Stone in “Red.” Honestly, Santa, I rule at homemade pizza. But how can a self-proclaimed pizza lover NOT have a pizza stone? Emile Henry knows what’s up, too. Do you know what’s up, Santa? Throw in a pizza peel, while you’re at it.
A Full Canning Kit, complete with jars, tongs, funnel, rack and anything else I might need to be a professional canner. I swear, SC, once I get all this stuff, I will rule the school. The cannery school, that is. Imagine the tasty pickles we’ll have! You love pickles, Claus!
Chicken Coop with 4-6 Brown Leghorn Chicks. 2014 will be my year that I raise my own chickens for eggs. I’m still working on the space for it, but I’m sure we can find something near my apartment complex. We don’t have to tell my landlord…
Vegetable Trellis atop a Raised Bed Planter. I would prefer everything planted and growing beautifully, but I understand that might not be possible. Buuuuut, it would be preferred.
Dishwasher. I don’t care what kind, size or model. Just something that washes dishes besides my hands.
You might be reading this, Santa, and think, ‘Jeez Louise. This reads like a wedding registry!’ Whoa, Santa! Slow your roll there. I just think it would be really nice to see them under the Christmas tree. However, I understand that you have other priorities, and they take precedent. Also, I know that I don’t actually need any of this. I’ve managed to make delicious, healthy and satisfying meals without these things. I’ve also made terrible meals that even a Le Creuset pot couldn’t help. So no big deal, my brother! I’ll stick to the lovely company of friends and family, and the ability to make such meals for which I’m incredibly grateful.
And if you can’t get to this stuff this year, I’ll settle for just the chickens.
Have a wonderful holiday, and be safe out there!
Your bestest friend,
I think that last little bit at the end is what I’m really wanting this year: more time (eating) with my family and friends. I guess we’ll have to see if there are any hens walking around my tree on December 25! I’ll be sure to keep you updated, folks.
What would you like to see under the Christmas tree this year?